The answer to this question is a bit more complicated.
People usually break up for a reason, and so the chances of getting back together with an ex depend on whether the issues that led to the breakup have been resolved.
But for people who take breakups the hardest — those who are “anxiously attached” — a rebound relationship might be just what they need, according to a paper by Geoff Mac Donald, associate professor of psychology, and graduate student Stephanie S. Seeking attachment is normal, whether it’s a baby with her mother, an adolescent with his buddies, or two romantic partners.
But anxiously attached people are insecure about their attachments.
So I found myself imagining that a new relationship, this time with the right person, would help me climb out of the ditch the divorce left me in.
People offered me all sorts of advice to talk me out of rebounding, but nobody was able to change my determined mind.
Spielmann and Mac Donald, along with co-author Anne E.
Wilson of Wilfrid Laurier University, decided to look at what happened when anxiously attached people entered new relationships.
If a real horse were to throw you off and give you whiplash, you’d be a fool to get back on before you are strong enough. Nothing handicaps a fledgling relationship faster than having to trudge through wreckage left over from the last one.
That’s the common advice to someone just out of a relationship and feeling bad about it.