The good news, Nicci, is that all of the answers can be derived from the same exact technique – flipping things over to consider the other person’s point of view.
Let’s start with you, because a) you wrote me the note, and b) you’re an online dating anomaly – an honest size 10 who doesn’t claim to be athletic and toned.
One man compared it to being “breach of contract” which I think is pretty telling – the idea that how women look is a contract for services that they should not breach and that a reasonable response to the breach of that contract is a complete suspension of basic human decency.
[Edit: Added to address some comments] I think it’s interesting to discuss what constitutes “lying” about one’s appearance.
On Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, it had never mattered that my body wasn't pictured in my uploaded photos, but I didn't have any choice when it came to my online profile.
So, with my hair curled, a beat face, and my favorite outfit on, I took that full-length mirror selfie in my college bedroom, testing out angles and poses for my profile that made me look good but not too good.
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” Would it be reasonable to say that since I lied about my appearance I obviously can’t be trusted?According to a piece in the Huffington Post, when men showed up looking fatter than their photo for five dates the women were reported to be “nice,” one woman mentioned that he looked different, three were willing to move forward with this date or go on another one, and one kissed him.Women who showed up looking fatter than their photo had very different experiences.I’ve been waiting for OKC to allow users to search by match question answers for a long, long time.
I used to spend hours manually scrolling through each potential match’s questions until I found out how they answered one question in particular.Before signing up for Ok Cupid, I had never taken a full body shot of myself, not even the obligatory OOTD mirror selfie.