In the world of dating, people are so busy projecting the illusion that they’re cool, that they oftentimes forget what it’s like to be warm.
This explains why more than half of Tinder matches never end up messaging each other.
She looks at it, says it’s from a guy she really likes, and puts her phone down.“Aren’t you going to message him back? We are increasingly using Tinder as a form of escapism.
” I ask her.“After a couple of hours,” she replies.“Why? In this fantasy world we’ve become cavemen, where every ‘match’ becomes a hunt that triggers a transitory feeling of victory.
We want to have sex without dating, date without having sex, be married but have a girlfriend, be lovers and then become friends, be friends who become lovers.
We want relationships to be easy, convenient, practical and disposable.
In these times of modern dating, we don’t want to define ourselves, and we most certainly don’t want to define our relationships.At the time, I was feeling bored and overwhelmed with dating — tired of carrying on generic conversations with strangers that often went nowhere and overwhelmed by all the potentials out there.I wanted to take advantage of cool connections I was making in real life as I was making them, rather than hoping to run into the person again virtually.So I logged off of Bumble, Hinge, Happn, JSwipe and Tinder, and I haven’t touched them since.
My app hiatus was a much-needed break, but not everything about it was wonderful.
We want our partner to be perfect without trying to make them perfect for us.